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Porn Sex vs. Real Sex

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Porn Sex vs. Real Sex

Postby madamjamei » Fri Nov 15, 2013 7:43 am

Most people watch pornography (or talk about why they won’t watch it) and believe that the way people have sex in porn is the way all people will want to have sex in real life. Or at least, people who watch porn will question what’s wrong with them for not having/liking sex the same way porn performers do. In that sense, porn may harm the viewer’s expectation/understanding of sexual pleasure.

But instead of pointing fingers, or arguing if porn needs to show performers using condoms to improve safer sex odds, we should be incorporating this discussion into a more comprehensive sex education school program. That’s where we can truly teach youth what sex is, and what porn is too. Sadly, instead of educating the masses, or reminding people that porn sex is filmed for money and entertainment, just like Hollywood big budget romances are, we question if what we see in porn is genuine sex, and we talk about it quietly. As we learn more about sex, we wonder if porn sex should be what we aspire to in our own sex lives. But, instead of looking at porn as acting, we sometimes look at porn as sex instruction. It’s more like acting than not-acting, and if we should think of porn actors as actors who, instead of baring their soul to the camera, bare their snatch.

Watching porn can alter someone’s definitions of what sex is, or should be. While it can inspire imaginative sex for some couples, it can also bring up feelings of anger, disgust, shame and sadness. And just because a partner likes watching porn sex does not mean the sex you’re having in real life is wrong, not-good-enough or unsatisfying either. Society wants us to think porn is ruining sex, but it’s that attitude that’s ruining porn. If it can be thought of anyway, to me, porn sex is one of those things you watch to help inspire the real sex in your life. Or sometimes you just watch it to get off. Period.



Porn Point 1. Porn Actors Are Having Sex For The Camera

I know you want to believe porn sex just happens spontaneously, when the pizza boy delivers a piping, hot sausage sub, but a lot of porn is actually blocked and positions are discussed beforehand. The director, and his or her crew are trying to get the best angles for the sex they’re about to shoot. Porn performer’s get into uncomfortable, compromising and less erotically pleasurable positions at times because those positions offer access and angles for the camera.



Porn Point 2. Porn Performers Are Getting Paid to Get Laid

Whether or not they give good performance, the reason most people have sex for the camera is because they pay their bills by having sex for the camera. Porn actors get paid to pretend that they are enjoying the sex they’re having on camera, whether or not it’s the best! sex! ever! Of course, it’s arguable that if they don’t make it look good, what’s the point? But the point is that porn performers are performing, which means we need to stop thinking we’re seeing into their personal love lives too.



Porn Point 3. Cameralingus Is Not Cunnilingus

I’ve talked about this one quite a bit, but in porn the amount of tongue you see is too much tongue, making porn approved oral sex the kind of thing you see because porn actors are doing it for the camera. Often when porn stars “eat out” I call it cameralingus (NSFW). When you’re actually performing oral sex correctly, the tongue is busy being all up in her pussy.



Porn Point 4. It’s Often The Story Of The Hung Hero

The unsung hero of porn is the penis. Not only the large, thick, erect-like-nobody’s-business-penises, but the penis that can keep going and going, having sex for as much time as it takes to watch Dances With Wolves. And although Ron Jeremy claims to have never used enhancements, that’s not how some of the industry roles. So, unless he has circus dick, excellent swordsmanship or a serious connection to good, hard enhancements, his penis isn’t always going to act like a porn stars can.



Porn Point 5. Anal Sex Requires Anal Prep

Most porn performers who take it like a champ in the out door, know they are about to take it like a champ up the rear end. That means no beans or coffee, or other roughage that would make anal sex unpleasant.

In being anal about anal, most anal-enthusiasts prep with a warm-water douche before their scene. They also know what lube they like, and they know to how to use it, and they may have even prepped with a butt plug beforehand.



Porn Point 6. There’s A Whole Lot of Squirting Going On

This is a blog post in and of itself, however, let’s just say that porn star ejaculate involves a lot of pressing down on the pelvic floor and extensive hydration. That means drinking gallons of water so that a porn performer can make streams of water shoot out her vagina. That also means ejaculation is an art in practice, and not something that just happens to a highly aroused woman.



Porn Point 7. Dirty Talk Verse Uncomfortable Silence

Porn performers talk because it adds to the scene. In real world sex, there are a lot of reasons we stay quiet in bed (like roommates or because we’re just quiet in bed). In porn there’s a lot more moaning and groaning because porn stars think it contributes to their acting, or because it adds another dimension to the sex scene. For some people, silent porn is just not as interesting to watch, and so porn adds music and moans. Next time you wonder if you talk enough during sex, just turn up the volume on a porn, and let the soundtrack moan for you.


and lastly...

Porn Point 8. Come On My Face Is Not A Universal Finisher

I don’t know why the face has become the place for the money shot, but porn makes this seem like the most popular place to finish things off. Always ask before ejaculating on someone’s face. Or better yet, just point it somewhere else, like in the condom, or their back, boobs or belly. However you choose to finish, just remember porn sex is only real sex if you’re goal in real sex is having porn sex. And if you’re going to have porn sex, prepare for it beforehand. That means communicate what you want and practice your dirty talk. Because porn sex is planned out, and real sex is in the moment.
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Re: Porn Sex vs. Real Sex

Postby madamjamei » Fri Nov 15, 2013 7:43 am

So I don't normally post in this section but I thought I would give it a shot. Maybe start up a new discussion.
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Re: Porn Sex vs. Real Sex

Postby DangerousDi » Fri Nov 15, 2013 10:36 am

I think Men and Women both fantasy. So watching helps the guy get it on more. As long as my dh is doing with me I could care a less what he is watching as sooner or later he is into me, not just with his cock, but his emotions and the sex we are working on to climax.

Yes porns are paid for it, but it has really fueled a few things. Women shaving their pussy's, how to suck a man. So and so forth.

Men have a fantasies so why not any way. Women want the love, so if you can figure out what is best for each go for it.
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Re: Porn Sex vs. Real Sex

Postby Thinker » Sat Nov 16, 2013 7:01 am

Madam Jamai, I hope you don't punish me too much in our next session, but....

Porn Point 3. Cameralingus Is Not Cunnilingus

I’ve talked about this one quite a bit, but in porn the amount of tongue you see is too much tongue, making porn approved oral sex the kind of thing you see because porn actors are doing it for the camera. Often when porn stars “eat out” I call it cameralingus (NSFW). When you’re actually performing oral sex correctly, the tongue is busy being all up in her pussy.


It is my take that the tongue is not up in her pussy (if you mean putting it up in her vagina) but rather it is hardly sticking out at all. For me, it only sticks out about as much as when you eat ice cream. Many times it is in your mouth as you envelop her clit and/or lips. The tongue will be fully out when you are doing that "big lick" as it should be. I agree that it is not sticking out like a penis flicking the clit only like porn likes you to think.
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Re: Porn Sex vs. Real Sex

Postby Thinker » Sat Nov 16, 2013 7:05 am

I do agree that the "Dirty Talk" is done in porn to just not have too much quiet time. Plus some people love it when the partner talks dirty. This is totally different from the moaning they do. I think this is done to "prove" that the "sex" is so good that they have that pleasure moan. It really does happen but not that often in real sex. ... or maybe it is just me. :(
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Re: Porn Sex vs. Real Sex

Postby hixmale » Mon Sep 05, 2016 7:06 am

Your original post has got to be the most well written and thought provoking post I've seen on a board like this. Thank you.
I agree with all that you wrote.

I would like to add my opinions. The porn produced over the last 20 years or so has really diminished porn's excitability factor, at least for myself and my wife. We would watch porn to get extra excitement out of our own love making sessions. Depending on the film and the scenes we would fantasize being part of the movie. Nothing like pretending to be in the middle of an orgy..... Now we don't really watch newer porn because of how it has changed. We are not tattoo and piercing lovers so too much turns us off. Spitting is a real turn off. Fake boobs can look good but too many look like cantaloupe halves shoved up under the woman's skin. And finally, the callousness and roughness of the male performers does nothing to enhance our sexual desires. We prefer and have a good sized collection of porn from the 'golden age' (late 70's through early 90's). While we do on occasion tire of seeing the same stars in the same scenes, the porn made then was more sensual and erotic.

Just my opinion.
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Re: Porn Sex vs. Real Sex

Postby Merlin52 » Tue Sep 06, 2016 9:53 am

madamjamei wrote:
we should be incorporating this discussion into a more comprehensive sex education school program. That’s where we can truly teach youth what sex is, and what porn is too.


While I would agree that the school programs don't do much of a job, I wonder if anyone here has had a stranger try to teach your kids about sex. They frequently take the opportunity to present their own ideas, without regard for what the parents want. The classes are somewhat useful in the cases where the parents don't address it, but in reality most kids are taking information from their peers rather than from an authentic source.

The real sex ed classes are college. In high school it would be pretty hard to get it past the limited biology that they do now, and there is a very real question if it should, considering who may be teaching the class. There are some very good teachers, but there are also clock punchers, those with their own agenda, and worst of all those that have no business being in a school. I don't think turning it all over the the government is wise. Just as a radical idea, how about a sex ed class for the parents on how to talk with their children?
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Re: Porn Sex vs. Real Sex

Postby AnonAnon » Sat Sep 10, 2016 9:50 pm

Sex education should be about safety and health, not technique, love, sexiness, etc., which probably can't be taught en masse anyway. If folks are confusing pornography with reality they're likely too crude to be helped by any sort of education program.
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